Nara Siblings
by InsaniacDuo
Summary: Fate just had to put clever, dominant, and genius all in one basket, didn't it? An AU with Naruto and Temari joining the Nara clan. NaruHina is a guarantee, and ShikaTema will happen eventually. First fic, so please smash the criticism button hard on me. Trust me. I can take it.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning** : the following contains characters and events that may have not happened in the canon story due to some elements being OOC. If this is the case, then it's more than likely that this is due to the author not researching enough to make the story 100% accurate. He sends his apologies if this deeply offends you.

* * *

Being in the Nara clan was a curse of its own. Never mind the harsh women who seemed to plague the family tree in marriages that imprisoned the males as whipped servants. No, that was more of an inconvenience than a curse. At least with wives, they took up the roles that were usually too troublesome for Shikaku (especially as a clan leader. He had lost count the times Yoshino had bailed him from clan responsibilities).

The true Nara curse lied in the enormous IQ that came at birth and stayed till death. A high IQ meant a ninja's sense of perception was increased dramatically. One would notice a lot of details that others would foolishly miss: a tripwire here, the sound of a paper bomb barely fluttering in the wind behind a tree there, the smell of an Inuzaka dog hiding in bush all the way on the other side of the training field. If not very distracting, it was helpful most of the times.

Unfortunately, what happened when a ninja couldn't do anything to stop an obvious trap? The fact that before the thought of warning crossed Shikaku's mind, an ambush would immediately take out a member of the squad. There was the thought that if Shikaku could have been faster, the person would still be alive. It haunted him as a young genin and it continued to haunt him as a Jonin. Of course, with the curse came paranoia. "What if" scenarios popped out of Shikaku's mind and caused him to despise being a ninja in general. (He probably would have quit earlier had it not for Yoshino.) So Shikaku did what most experienced ninjas did in their line of work: shut off all sense of emotion. If a person died, too bad. What was done was done. That was that. Zip. Nada. Plop. Dead.

That was supposed to be the ninja code. Don't think with your heart, think with your reflexes.

So why did this little girl take so much of his attention?

Shikaku had accepted a C level mission out of the insistence of his wife. Their child had been born recently, and he had avoided the Hokage's Office with the excuse of taking care of Shikamaru. Yoshino had other ideas of what Shukaku should have been doing. It was an easy mission: escort the trader out of Konoha and in the city of Suna. No bandits. No missing nins. Not even an animal crossed their path. They got to Suna without any problems. Now all Shikaku had to do was wait till nightfall ended and he could make his way back to Konoha.

That was the plan.

WAS.

The sound of crying broke Shikaku's train of thought. He wasn't used to crying, all Nara babies tended to sleep like rocks. It came from a small alley and it sounded like a little girl. Putting the pieces together, anyone could have reached the conclusion that the situation was worrisome, even having potential to be disastrous, so Shikaku went to investigate.

In the alley way was a girl, no more than the age of 3, curling in a fetal position face down in a puddle of her own tears.

Shikaku assessed the situation. Under no circumstances should a girl be left alone in an alley, especially at such a young age. She was either abandoned, in hiding, or traumatized. Further investigation would be required.

He kneeled down to her.

"Why are you here crying, little one?"

Her face lifted up so he got a clear view of her. Her pupils were teal and her eyes were red from all the crying. The black eye was definitely something to be concerned about.

"T-t-tousan says th-that he never wanted a girl like me."

More sniffing. More crying.

"H-he says that all he wanted was a son to c-carry the fam-m-mily name and-and that I-I-"

Gasp. Choke. Sob.

"I w-was w-w-worthless."

Shikaku was stunned. He knew such acts of verbal discipline were more common than in Suna than in Konoha due to the stricter way of life, but never in the sense of demoralizing a child's sex. Perhaps it was a way to toughen her up for the undoubtedly conflict-filled times ahead. There had already been three shinobi wars after all; the next could be closer than many would anticipate.

Shukaku could only hope that was the case with this little girl.

"Maybe I can talk to your tousan. Do you know where you live?"

"Noo!" she covered her face behind her knees again. "I d-don't wanna go back! I-I don't wanna g-get beat again…"

Well that certainly explained the black eye.

Shikaku considered his options. He'd be damned if he just left her there. Somewhere in the city there had to be an orphanage, or perhaps the Kazekage would be kind enough to give the little girl a home for her.

"What's your name, little one?" Shikaku asked.

"I t-told you I-I don't want to go back." she sniffled.

"I'm not going to send you back. I just want your name so I can give it to somebody who can help you."

The little girl hesitated.

"Sa… Sabaku no Temari."

Sabaku?!

Oh no.

No. No. No.

Sabaku was the name of the current Kazekage. That limited Shukaku's options. Beating your child was never good for publicity especially in a Kage's position. Sending her to the Kazekage was out of the question and an orphanage would just send her back to him.

But then what to do with the girl?

He…

He could always take her to Konoha to live with the Nara clan.

However, the act of taking any citizen or shinobi out of their home city and into another was considered an act of hostility at worst. Without proper paperwork or permission from the Kage, the act would have been considered a kidnapping. Shikaku risked war if he decided to take in this little girl.

A dumb, DUMB decision indeed.

"Would you like to come home with me?"

"Really?"

Stupid, STUPID Shikaku.


	2. Chapter 2

The following fanfiction was made possible by the contribution of _PROCRASTINATION._ Without it, I wouldn't be in the middle of the night with none of my homework finished. Instead I'm writing a freaking epic about two fictional characters made by a Japanese man who I don't even know.

Thanks _PROCRASTINATION!_

* * *

All the way out of Wind, Shikaku couldn't help but notice that Temari kept looking back with tears threatening to burst out of her eyes.

"Temari, is something the matter?" Shikaku asked her as Suna gradually shrank into the horizon. "I can send you back if you have second thoughts."

Panic rushed forward in Temari's eyes. "No! I mean… No sir, Nara-sama." She braced herself and started fidgeting, as if she was expecting a blow. Shikaku stopped in his tracks and crouched down to Temari's level. Her stance grew even tenser and tears were now streaming down her face.

"Temari, look at me."

Temari only responded by crouching back down into a fetal position, much like the position Shikaku had found her when confronting her in the alley.

"Kami-damned, daughter-traumatizing Kazekage," Shikaku cursed in his head.

He wrapped his arms around her, and covered her face entirely with his chest.

"Temari, I have some idea of what your father did to you, and he's a bastard for doing such things," Shikaku said softly as he patted her back. "But you should know that I will never _ever_ hit you in order for you to do the same things he required you to do. Do you understand, Temari-chan?"

Temari froze. Never in her entire life had someone referred to her using "-chan," not since her mother. Her father had a constant bias against her and none of the other children wanted to play with her because they feared her royal status.

Suddenly, Shikaku felt two tiny arms reach up behind his neck and pull him closer. Muffled sobs could be heard from Temari's covered mouth. She soon finally opened her eyes.

"Thank you, tousan."

Temari looked back at the disappearing Suna behind them.

"Good bye, kaasan. Good bye, Kankuro. Good bye, Gaara."

* * *

An aura of killing intent blasted Shikaku in the face in full force as soon as he entered Konoha. He prayed to Kami that it wasn't the ONE thing that he suspected it was.

"SHIKAKU!"

"Kami is dead," Shikaku muttered to himself.

There stood Nara Yoshino, a woman to this day Shikaku was unsure how she got him to marry her, marching down the street toward Shikaku. An atmosphere of rage seemed to amplify with each step she stomped. Her eyes were those of banshees and in her right hand was a rolling pin, dented from previous beatings.

Shikaku really, really hated that rolling pin.

"YOU. ARE. DEAD." Each word she growled was filled with the animosity of a bear.

How on earth did he fall in love with this monster?

"DON'T YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, SHIKAKU! I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS WHAT YOU WERE DOING!"

Wait, she knew about Temari?

"THE FIRST MISSION YOU GO ON AFTER I GIVE BIRTH AND YOU COME HOME A WEEK LATE. IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN MESSING WITH SOME OTHER BROAD. YOU THINK YOU CAN THROW ME AWAY NOW THAT I'M A MOTHER?!"

She didn't know about Temari.

Yoshino swung the rolling pin and Shikaku barely dodged it. A warning shot. She would not miss next time. As she prepared to strike his head, Yoshino noticed Temari hiding behind Shikaku's legs, shivering out of fear.

Suddenly the air around Konoha turned warmer and the sensations grew softer. The demon-lady known as Yoshino grew more into a caring mother, one that reminded Temari of her recently deceased mother.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry for scaring you little girl. What's your name?"

"S-Sabaku no Temari."

"Sabaku…" Yoshina muttered, "Shikaku isn't that-"

"Yes," Shikaku said with relief that Yoshino's rage was temporarily undone, "Now before you try and hit me, crazy woman, let's go see the Yondaime to sort this out. Alright?"

* * *

They were back in the Nara household. By some miracle the Yondaime had allowed them to keep Temari without telling Suna about the "kidnapping."

"You know we have another child in the house," Yoshino said to Temari, "He's a newborn, but he'll be a bratty, no-good, lazy Nara man before you know it."

"I don't care. In Suna I had two brothers, and they were both babies too!" Temari replied back.

"Hey, wait a minute! Aren't you supposed to be a baby?"

"Nope! I'm a grown girl!"

"No you're not, you're a cute, little princess."

Yoshino then pulled on Temari's cheeks as if she were a hamster.

"Stoooop!" whined Temari. In the next room, Shikaku was covering his ears with his pillows. The fuss they were causing was causing Shikaku to lose sleep.

And by the sounds of crying coming from the baby room, it was causing Shikamaru to lose sleep as well.

Yoshino and Temari raced into the baby room. Shikamaru was bawling when Yoshino picked him up and bounced him to try and calm him down. Temari looked at Shikamaru with big eyes.

"Can I carry him?"

"You sure? If you dropped him it would be pretty bad."

"I've carried Kankuro before, I can carry this baby too!"

"Well, alright."

Yoshino placed Shikamaru down, and Temari held his head and body with both arms.

"Hi there."

Shikamaru stared back at Temari, and she grinned.

"I'm your new sister."

* * *

 **Disclaimer:** This section is a rant. Ignore it if you ever so desire.

I am so. so very sorry.

It's just that this chapter was the awkward one to write. Not only was it a segway, it was about babies. Writing about babies is almost never a good time, not without reference. Unfortunately, the only reference I bother to pay attention about this subject are the five year olds that cry during library hours.

What I could've done is wait for the right moment of inspiration to strike me and write down furiously on a notepad that I apparently would have to carry around me everywhere. You know, like how all your favorite artists keep telling you to do!

Okay, first of all, that's really inconvenient. A "writing mood" can come in at any time and any place, and time just doesn't stop for you to do what you want to do when that happens. Second of all, it doesn't work, at least not for me. When I write, I prefer to hear the tapping of the keys rather than the scribbling noises of a pencil. I also enjoy having an infinite amount of information in a convenient click of a button.

You know the reason why so many fanfictions start out and die? It's because the authors wait for their "artist block" to go away. I'd be lying if I said that artist block was a myth, but an artist block is just a period when writing suddenly feels like a chore rather than an "exploration of creativity." It doesn't mean you can't write, it means that writing becomes a burden because you actually have to _think_ up good ideas. You'd have the same effect if you wrote it down in a draft and then said, "Eh, but what if-" That's a much better solution that sitting in a bathtub of hot water listening to soothing music!

Now I understand that there is the fact that ideas have to sit in the head for a while to see if they work. But in my very opinion, this system is flawed. Sticking an idea into your head and waiting a day for it to "cook up" will only lead to procrastination or forgetfulness. A day becomes a week, then a week becomes a month, and then a month becomes a year in which then it be to bizarre to come back to this year old fanfiction you did so you completely abandon it.

Nobody likes abandoned fanfictions (or maybe they do and I just can't see the beauty of it.)

Sigh.

Watch. I'll probably abandon this fiction after three months of not writing.

:(


	3. Chapter 3

I suppose this is the part of the gif that I introduce you to an imaginary "muse" to tell you whatever fandom I'm writing about doesn't belong to me.

Well here at InsaniacDuo industries we like to fight the norm whenever we feel comfortable doing so.

So your not getting it.

* * *

Shikaku didn't know Minato growing up. He spent his childhood with Inoichi and Choza, and only regarded the blond boy as a stranger giving googly eyes to the redhead. He was famous in the war for killing a lot of enemy nin or something (Shikaku didn't really care) and got himself married with that red hair girl. Only when the Sandaime chose Minato as a successor was when Shikaku was forced to take a good hard look at him.

He had to admit, there was more than met the eye with Minato.

For starters, he was an enigma.

Shikaku had met Orochimaru a few times and he didn't compare to the amount of suspicion that Minato had. With Orochimaru, it was pretty obvious; after all, he was a mad snake man who obsessed over power and immortality. A blind man would've figured out that this man was going to betray the village. Minato, however, fell right into the uncanny valley. On the surface: a decent fellow that had an array of leadership skills. His master of the Hiraishin was more than impressive, and any man who could live with a woman who could match up with Yoshino in terms of rage was a man he could respect. It was the constant smile that got Shikaku.

Substituting as the Hokage's assistant every once in a while, Shikaku couldn't help but notice that there was a smile the Yondaime that seemed plastered on his face. Through mountains of paperwork or a failed mission with unfortunate casualties, the smile never left his face. What scared Shikaku more is the fact that he recognized that smile.

It was a smile of a person accepting death.

Shikaku was puzzled. The Yondaime showed no signs of pain or internal suffering. He had personally gone to Kushina, Minato's wife, to ask if there was an illness that was eating the Yondaime that he wasn't telling anybody. Nothing.

The smile was still there when Shikaku saw the man die.

Our of those curved lips came the last words Minato caused Shikaku's spine to shiver.

"Remember our deal."

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

"Shikaku! It's good to see that you're alive. Any longer and I would've suspected you were dead!"

Only Minato could make a words like that sound so innocent and light-hearted.

"Yondaime-sama I-"

"Minato, Shikaku. We're all friend here."

"Minato," Shikaku said, "I have a heavy favor to ask of you."

"Well, I am the Hokage. I'm sure I can help you with your problem."

"I may have committed a national offense by taking a civilian out of Suna without the Kazekage's consent."

"Oh?"

"I suppose Anbu has already told you about the girl that came with me."

"That they did."

"Yondaime-sama," Shikaku said as he bowed down on his knees, "Please don't tell the Sand anything about Temari!"

Wow. The great Nara Shikaku begging to someone. The world has clearly come to an end.

Minato was silent for a long time. He stared at Shikaku is a manner that Shikaku swore was playful.

Finally, Minato spoke.

"Anbu."

Two masked men appeared in front of Minato.

"I desire a that my talk with Shikaku be a private one. It would be appreciated if you didn't listen to the conversation. You are to leave us alone until further notice."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." And with that, they vanished.

"Shikaku," Minato said with a serious face, something he rarely did. "What I'm about to tell you never leaves this room. Do I have your word."

This couldn't be good.

"Hai."

"How much do you know about the Priestess of the Land of Demons?"

"I don't know much about her. My wife forbids me from looking at other women."

Minato smiled. "Mine as well, but I still went to see her."

Shikaku sweated. "You didn't make me swear my secrecy all because you wanted to brag about having an affair. did you?"

"What, NO!" Minato sputtered, "Kushina would literally beat me with an inch of my life and hang me with a barbwire noose. A LOOSE BARBWIRE NOOSE SO THAT I'LL STILL BE BREATHING WHEN THEY FIND ME!"

"Cute. Mine says she'll stick a cactus up my ass and crush my genitals with a sledgehammer."

"Heheh… Eehh… What were we talking about again?"

"You started with the Priestess of the Land of Demons."

"Oh right!"

Minato's face turned into that creepy smile that frightened Shikaku.

"On the 22 of October, I'm going to die."

…

That's it. Shikaku now officially dubbed the Hokage mentally insane. It was a miracle how the village hadn't sunk to the bottom of the ocean by now. They were all doomed.

"Shikaku, please hear me out. I traveled to the Land of Demons to seek out the Priestess NOT because of your 'affair theory.' The Priestess has a gift that allows her to see the future, and I thought I could've used her ability to help the village in any way."

"You do realize that a lot of fortune tellers claim the same, right?"

"Shikaku, this is the real deal!"

"Uh huh."

"Whatever! Look the reason I'm telling you this is because instead of telling me about future village invasions and corrupt officials, she showed me my death. I'll die as my son breathes his first breath. As he grows up, the people of the village will hate him for a reason she could not tell me. His life will be in constant torment as he faces abuse. However, she said that a 'shadowy man' would be the saving grace for my son. Shikaku, I have reason to believe that you are the 'shadowy man.'"

"Me?"

"C'mon. 'Shadowy man?' That's not a lot of people that can be. Anyway, Shikaku, I'll agree to keep quiet about your girl, but in return you must give me your word that you'll take care of Naruto."

…

"You named your boy Naruto?"

"Don't ask. Will you do it or not?"

**FLASHBACK END**

* * *

Yoshino entered the baby room.

"How is he?"

"Well, he stopped crying about five minutes ago. Now I'm just wondering about how I got into this situation."

She looked into the crib and looked at the baby sleeping right next to Shikamaru. His blond hair definitely came from his father. Nothing, unfortunately, stuck out as Kushina in the child, perhaps when he was older.

Shikaku looked at the babies with a haze in his eyes.

"Honey… Do you believe in fate?"

"Fate? No. Why do you ask?"

"Oh nothing," Shikaku said, "I just had a thought that maybe it was my predetermined destiny to pick up two children right after Shikamaru was born, and now we have three children to take care of: one who was technically kidnapped and one who's a jinchuuriki."

"You make it sound like you hate them."

Shikaku sighed.

"Is it so bad to think that maybe I should've said no?"

"But you didn't," Yoshino assured. "You decided to go ahead and adopt these poor children. Granted, we have two more than I would have liked, but the fact that we made a difference in these infants' lives."

"Should I adopt the entire orphanage then?" Shikaku joked.

"Maybe we should," Yoshino replied. "But I think three is enough."

"Good night, Naruto."

* * *

It just dawned on me on how new to this "narrative writing" thing. It probably shows too.)

You know who's not an entire noob and has really good stories? **lord of the land of fire** , that's who. I would heavily recommend check out his _Invitation_ trilogy if you're here because of my "guaranteed ShikaTema" promise. That's not coming up for a bit (and by _bit_ I mean a loooooong time). Granted, he's not going back to fanfiction any time soon on account of him writing his third original book, but his past stuff is really, really good.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be crying in this corner thinking about why I can't pace very well in my writing (or is my pacing good... Nah).


	4. Chapter 4

**You know what I hate? Inconsistent language. For example, in a fic, why does the author constantly switch between Japanese terms and English terms (e.g. tousan, dad; kaasan, mom; etc.) Don't they know that inconsistency is a sign of bad writing?**

 **You know what else I hate? Myself!**

 **Use the transitive property, people. Guess what I'm gonna do.**

 **Oh, BTW: this chapter is just mainly filler. Sorry.**

* * *

"You Hyuuga's think your all such big deals. All I can see is a tiny crying girl."

It was in the middle of the woods, where three boys were harassing Hinata Hyuga. The cold winter snow only chilled Hinata's tears as they rolled down her face.

"I bet your nothing but a Byakugan monster!"

"Yeah, Byakugan monster!"

"Hey, cut it out!" a blond spiky haired boy no older than she was came running toward her. "Leave her alone!"

He was met with a fist to the face and was laying down on the ground with a bloody nose.

"Oh boy, so the real monster comes and joins the byakugan monster!" one of the kids shout.

"You two should get married," another kid jeered as children do.

The biggest of the kids raised his hands to a fist, "We'll show you for messing with us, you monster."

"Naruto!"

The boys turned to the direction of the voice and saw Temari racing towards them. Temari, being their age, was known as the ferocious one in their class. If anyone messed with her, they were sure to get a thrashing.

"Run!" yelled the leader, and the group scattered.

Naruto got up and screamed, "You're all cowards! The only thing you can do is run away!"

Temari hit him in the back of the head. "You idiot! What were you thinking? You know better than to run into a fight with the older boys!"

"But this girl-"

"I don't care about the girl, look at yourself! Your nose is all swollen and bleeding! Where's Shikamaru?! I told him to watch you!"

She then noticed Shikamaru's tufted of hair protruding off the side of the hill. The bastard had been staring at clouds again. Temari stomped over to the hill and starting yelling at the "lazy bum."

Naruto sighed. "Temari-neechan is always so loud. She's almost a complete copy of kaachan."

He turned and gave her a foxy grin. "My name's Nara Naruto! What's yours?"

"H-hinata..." she managed to stutter out.

* * *

"So, you're the clan heir as well?"

They were all at the Nara household. Naruto had taken a liking to the girl and begged Temari if she could come home with them.

"H-hai. B-but everyone at the c-compound says that I won't b-be it... They all s-say I-I'm weak."

"Well, in that case, you're lucky. I wish everyone would just give up on me. Then I could just watch the sky until the end of my days." replied Shikamaru. Temari slapped him in the back of the head.

"Unbelievable. Even in when someone clearly needs some comfort, you make a snide remark about how something is 'troublesome.' This is why you don't have friends, Shikamaru!"

"Troublesome woman. At least you don't have to do anything important because your a girl."

"What was that?!"

Alas, Shikamaru was out of the room before Temari could even lift her arm to hit him.

Hinata turned to Naruto, "I-is Shikamaru really you and Temari's brother?"

"It's the hair isn't it? Well, I asked mom if he was adopted or something but she says that he's a direct copy of Dad, so I guess."

"Th-that's not what I meant..."

* * *

"Mom, do I really have to go to school?"

"Of course you do! How do you think your going to be a ninja?"

"I could ask Dad if he could..."

"Oh don't be silly, Shikamaru. Your father is much too busy to home-school you."

"But all he does is lay around the house..."

"And you'll end up like him if you don't go to school."

"That doesn't sound that bad, actually."

"Don't give me that attitude, young man!"

Naruto and Temari looked at the scene with amusement. It was another one of those days when Shikamaru decided to be difficult for a change. A rare sight to see and something that was always funny.

"Come brother Naruto, let us leave our most impotent of kinfolk and pursue the wondrous peripheries of the education system implemented for the better of our well being by the Hokage himself." Temari teased in a mocking tone.

"Quite, dearest sister." Naruto responded in the same voice Temari was using.

"You're both encouraging him..." Yoshino groaned.

* * *

"Hey, Hinata!" the blond boy yelled as soon as he saw her. Startled, her head scrunched down into her jacket, much like a turtle, before recognizing Naruto. "N-Naruto-kun!"

"Man, I thought that this entire year would be just Shika complaining, but with you here I now have an excuse to ditch him."

"I'm sitting right next to you." Shikamaru's voice came from the seat on the other side of Naruto.

NOOOO! The madness never ends!"

"I really hate you."

Hinata couldn't help but giggle.

* * *

 **I tend to think that dialogue is my strongest feature, so I went and did an entire chapter based around it, but now I feel bad for wasting your time.**

 **Ah, hell. It's a fanfiction: it's supposed to waste your time.**


	5. Chapter 5

I'm not crazy about one-shots, and I certainly am not going to convert this story to a series of them. But lately, writing a fluent story with chapters to the best of my abilities and expectations has been... difficult as of late.

As as per usual, I'm sorry.

* * *

Demon.

One would not think so much for a word that shared the same meaning as monster, hellborn, or abomination. In fact, one might even use it playfully.

Not in the Nara household, not unless you wanted your ass kicked. Yoshino had made it clear throughout the Nara clan that she, as clan lady, would enforce one rule- NEVER call Naruto the "D word." Shikamaru never understood it for most of his pre-academy days. Naruto was a trickster at heart and would constantly play pranks on the clan members just for giggles. It would make sense, he reasoned, that Naruto would be referred as, at least, a soft-hearted devil.

When they both entered the academy, Yoshino had added, to Shikamaru's dismay, more chores and responsibilities to both of their schedules. Instead of the days where Shikamaru would lay on a hill, staring at clouds while Naruto was chasing a butterfly or something, these days were filled with chores and responsibilities that Shikamaru probably would've ignored had it not been for one detail – the village hated Naruto.

The two used to go their separate ways after the academy hours, Shikamaru to his little reserve of solitude (his hill) and Naruto to do the list chores Yoshino had given him. Sure, they'd get done at the end of the day, but not without an injured Naruto. Every day he'd come home with a new bruise or a cut that needed to be treated, and it wasn't until Naruto had apparently "tripped and gave himself a black eye" that Shikamaru decided to investigate where his brother was getting these mysterious wounds.

Silently, he observed Naruto from the rooftops. He noticed the shopkeepers and the villagers all stood at a distance away from Naruto, as if he had the plague. Shikamaru even heard some mutter the word demon as soon as Naruto left.

Interesting, but not as peculiar as the man that was following Naruto. It wasn't long before he strick.

The man in a chunin jacket stepped forward and grabbed Naruto.

"Thought we told you never to come out again, demon."

"What do you want with me?! I thought I told you all to scram!"

"Yeah, I can't do that. Do you know why?"

"Well whatever it is, I didn't do it."

"You killed my parents, you little demon."

The chunin pulled back his fist to punch Naruto when he suddenly tensed up.

"W-what?" he panicked, "I can't move. What did you do, you demon?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Liar! The demon is controlling me with his powers."

"He isn't doing anything."

The man used all his strength to turn his head to the new voice. There stood Shikamaru, controlling the chunin with the Shadow Imitiation Jutsu.

The chunin snarled "Back off, Nara. This doesn't involve you."

"Oh? But you're so very wrong. See, that boy you're holding is my little brother."

"What?! I'm the little brother?!"

"Naruto, shut up."

Shikamaru reached down and mimicked reaching for a kunai, the chunin did the same, only actually grabbing his kunai from his pouch.

"Now, I need you to promise me something."

"Screw you!"

Shikamaru then held his fist close to his neck. The chunin did the same and now had his kunai forced on his throat.

"Leave."

The kunai came closer.

"My brother."

The chunin could be heard panicking, crying out in desperation to get free of the shadow.

"Alone."

Shkamaru then released the jutsu, and the chunin ran away in a cold sweat.

"Hey Naruto, you alright?"

The boy was shocked. Never had Shikamaru done something as wild as threaten someone with their life.

"Looks like you've got more of mom in you than you let on, huh? Remind me to never get you mad."

Shikamaru ignored the joke. "So this has been happening to you for a while, huh? Ugh, troublesome…"

"Look, Shika, I'm sorry-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for, baka. If anything, I should be sorry for allowing you to do the chores by yourself."

"…"

"I suppose it can't be helped, but I guess I'll have to accompany you for the chores as troublesome as it is."

Naruto's face lit up "You really mean it?!"

"Sure, otouto."

"Don't call me that! You're only a month older than me!"

"Still means I'm older."

"Damnit, Shika!"


	6. Chapter 6

Everybody warned Shikaku about having kids. His friends, the doctors, even the Sandaime (Yes, he's still alive. Why wouldn't he be?) all told him that even if you were to survive the horrors of the shinobi lifestyle, all you'd have to return home was a screaming kid who'd beg you to teach them so they could become shinobi as well. Shikaku took all of this with a grain of salt as he explained that he suspected that his child would come out like him – lazy and reserved – and lo and behold Shikamaru had come out exactly as he expected.

That was before Temari and Naruto. Both gave Shikaku their fair share of headaches, begging him for the Nara clan techniques.

(A little fun fact that I didn't know before – the Nara's ability to control shadows isn't a _kekkai genkai_ , as it isn't passed down from heredity; it's instead a _hiden._ Instead of being inherited through genetics, it's taught through generations of a clan orally, meaning anyone could learn these techniques if they weren't so secretive.)

This wouldn't have been much of a problem if they both weren't so bad at it. Either could make their shadows even as much as shiver to their frustration, and it seemed that only Shikamaru was able to naturally master shadow manipulation. Shikaku still remembered the countless arguments that echoed the Nara household about the subject.

"It's not fair!" cried Temari, "Why do you have to be the only one who can do it, lazy bones!"

Naruto backed his sister in agreement. "Yeah! Why can't we do it?"

The eldest Nara looked up at the two and sighed. He decided to pamper his siblings.

"Look, why does it matter? Temari, you're scary as hell and can beat anybody till they have an inch of their life, and Naruto, you're the insane trickster who somehow managed to contaminate the drinking water with deer piss which I still do this day have no idea how you did it. Are shadow powers really up to something like that, especially on a coward like me?"

Naruto pouted. "But Shika, without shadow powers how am I supposed to be clan head?"

Temari's eyes bulged. "You?! Why would you be the clan head?! I'm the eldest, so I get to be the clan head!"

"WHAT?! No way! If anyone's gonna be clan head, it's me!"

"Nuh-uh! Pipsqueaks can't be clan heads!"

"Well you're a girl! Do you know any girls who are clan heads?!"

Shikamaru could only sigh and wait for the commotion to end. He was more than happy to give up the position of clan head to either of these two, but it was stated in some dumb Nara rulebook that the clan head MUST have a mastery of all shadow jutsus. The fact that these two couldn't do any of it immediately almost gave the title completely to him.

Besides, his dad already told him that he would rather die than see anyone blond at the head of the Nara clan.

Why? Something about his grandmother. He refused to say more.

"FINE! I'll find my own way to learn shadow techniques, believe it!"

Aaaaaand Naruto just walked out of the building.

"Welp. I better go follow him, see if he burns down any more buildings," said Shikamaru and left.

Temari was left alone in the compound, feeling frustrated and ashamed for getting into another argument with her favorite sibling. There was a lot to Naruto that Temari could relate to, and it hurt her to fight the other blond in the family.

She heard someone call out her name. There was Shukaku, albeit with a look of disappointment, holding a piece of paper.

"Do you know what this is?"

* * *

"How do lose someone who wears an orange jacket?" muttered a tired Shikamaru. Usually Naruto's chakra signature was as obvious as a wet dog: you could easily sense the trail and lead you right to the source, but today that trail led to a dead end in an alleyway.

"Shikamaru? What are you doing here?"

The Nara child turned his heard to see his father's teammate's daughter, Ino Yamanaka. To be honest, Shikamaru didn't know much about her. He spent most of his time with Naruto after the incident.

"You wouldn't have seen a blond idiot pass by here, would you?"

Ino's brow crossed as she pulled her fist up.

"What did you say to me?"

"Oi, oi! I meant my brother Naruto! Jeez, you're almost as troublesome as Temari sometimes."

"I'M TROUBLESOME?! Oh, sure I saw Naruto earlier, but now I'm not going to tell you."

"Where?! Damn it, tell me woman!"

"No, serves you right for calling me-"

Ino was cut off when Shikamaru grabbed her shoulders frantically.

"Ino, I don't have time for this. You tell me where he is or else! I swear if anything happens to him because of you-"

Shikamaru felt tears well up in his eyes as he glared angrily at the Yamanaka heir.

"Alright, fine! I saw Mizuki-sensei come and pick him up. That's it, I swear!"

"Mizuki-sensei?" Shikamaru muttered, "What would he want with Naruto?"

And with that, Shikamaru fled the scene.

Ino shivered. Nara Shikamaru only got that riled up when it came to Naruto.

* * *

It was late at night when Shikamaru finally found Naruto. He was hiding in one of the many forests the Nara clan owned.

"Oi, baka! I've been trying to find you for ages."

"Heh heh. Sorry, Shika. You know how upset I can get."

Shikamaru then noticed the scroll in Naruto's hand.

"Hey, what's that scroll you've got there?"

"Oh, this? Mizuki-sensei told me that there were scrolls in the Hokage building that had an easy to learn shadow jutsu! With this I can finally become clan leader, right?"

"You idiot. Our clan's techniques have never been recorded in any scrolls, whatsoever."

"But why would-"

Naruto's question was interrupted by a new voice.

"Very good, Naruto, you did just as I asked."

Both boys turned to see their sensei grinning down on them.

"Mizuki-sensei!"

Suddenly, the air was bombarded with shurikens. It was only thanks to reflex that Naruto and Shikamaru managed to barely dodge the incoming barrage.

"Now, this won't do. I didn't plan on someone else finding out I was involved."

"Y-you conned my brother into committing a crime against the village?!"

"So you figured it out, huh? Now I definitely have to kill you."

Mizuki pulled out a kunai and ran toward Shikamaru, only barely evading the strike. It was then that Mizuki pulled out a big shuriken from his pack and threw it straight at Shikamaru.

Shit. He wouldn't be able to dodge this one.

Time seemed to slow down as Shikamaru stared at the spinning piece of metal that was going to be the end of him. "Well, this is troublesome. I guess I'll never get that plain wife I always wanted. But Naruto… Temari… Damn. " Shikamaru closed his eyes and waited for the shuriken to pierce his chest.

"Wind Bullet!"

Shikamaru opened his eyes in surprise to see the giant shuriken flung off its path The next thing he saw was Temari right next to him, smirking.

"I guess women aren't so troublesome now that one's saved your life, huh, lazybones?"

"Not with that attitude." He muttered.

"Hmph. On the brink of death and still so troublesome." Temari turned to Mizuki. "So this was all your doing? Should've guessed, you were always the creepy teacher."

Mizuki sneered. "Strong words for a girl who's about to die." Swiftly, his hands formed the tiger symbol. A stream of fire erupted from his mouth toward the duo.

Yet another unavoidable attack that would doom them.

How convenient.

All of a sudden, a flash of orange appeared and a charred corpse of what was Nara Naruto lay on the feet of his siblings.

"NARUTO!"

The body poofed in a cloud of smoke.

…

Funny. Charred bodies never seem to do that.

"You rang, dattebayo?"

Suddenly the forest was filled with multitudes of orange jacket wearing blondes, each of them glaring at Mizuki.

"So, you think you can just come over to me and trick me into stealing a scroll, and then kill my brother and sister just so you can get away?"

Mizuki's only response was to gasp in fear. Each of the Naruto clones either sported a bloodthirsty grin or a menacing glare.

"THINK AGAIN!"

Mizuki could only scream in preparation to the beating he was going to get.

* * *

"So let me get this straight. Naruto, you let your teacher from the Academy con you into stealing a scroll from the Hokage building to obtain some forbidden jutsus, got your brother and sister involved and almost got them killed?!"

Naruto guessed his mom wasn't in the greatest of moods.

Heck, he might even say she was in the worst of them.

Of course, not out loud. What was he? Suicidal?

"But I beat Mizuki-sensei to the ground with my new jutsu! I saved them!"

"You wouldn't have to save them if you were smart enough to report your sensei!"

Naruto grimaced. Now would usually be the time that his mother would bash him on the head.

But it never came.

"Your father will have a long talk with you when he's done explaining things to the Sandaime."

"Dear, I'm home."

Godamnit.

* * *

Naruto sat with his knees on the floor. Shikaku was above him, crossing his arms. The air had a hint of disappointment.

Naruto looked up and grinned in desperation.

"So, Dad, I –um- learned a new jutsu today…"

Silence.

"It was from that scroll I –uh- stole and all, but it was a shadow technique, and I pulled it perfectly!"

"…"

"So, -um-… are you-"

"Naruto."

Naruto flinched. His dad's voice boomed with authority.

"Tell me. Why did you steal the scroll when Mizuki told you to?"

Naruto's only response was to stare down at the floor again.

Shikaku continued. "I know you're not stupid. You know that anyone asking for a scroll with forbidden jutsus must be suspicious, and then to go so far as to do it, I hardly-"

"I DID IT FOR YOU, OKAY?!" Naruto cried out. Shikaku's brow burrowed in shock and confusion.

"I DID IT BECAUSE SHIKA'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO THE SHADOW JUTSU'S PROPERLY! I THOUGHT BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WOULD COULD DO IT, YOU'D ONLY HAVE TIME FOR HIM TO TRAIN!"

Naruto stopped when he felt his father's hand reach down and wipe away the tears from his face.

"So you did it because you were jealous of Shikamaru's ability to perform our clan jutsu perfectly, huh? You thought I wouldn't have time for you because of him, right?"

Naruto whimpered and nodded.

"Naruto," Shikaku sighed, "You should know that I love all my children equally, especially you. While Shikamaru might be a natural at our clan jutsus, it doesn't mean I'm not proud of you or your sister. Look at Temari. She's strong and brutal like your mother, and every single one of her classmates are afraid of her like the fearful kunoichi she is. That is something to be proud about."

Shikaku then patted Naruto's back.

"And you, Naruto, are my clever one. Although I might not approve of them, your pranks are a work of a genius. Remember that time you managed to trap a whole squad of Anbu in a pit of Aburame bugs that you managed to lure in with a pot of chakra - which shouldn't be possible – and managed to evade them with a paper bag painted orange? That's the work of an extraordinarily smart trickster."

"Smarter than Shika?"

"Yes, in a way, you're much smarter than your brother."

Naruto beamed. It wasn't every day you hear your father heap praises on you.

"You can go now, just don't forget what I told you, okay?"

"Hai!"

Naruto was about to leave as Shikaku called out to him again.

"Oh, and Naruto, what was that jutsu you learned from the scroll?"

"Shadow Clone Jutsu. Why?"

"Oh, well see, the thing is-"

* * *

"I can't f*quack*ing believe it! The first high level jutsu I pull off and it isn't even a shadow jutsu! Why isn't it a shadow jutsu, dattebayo?! It has the word 'shadow' in it for crying out loud!"

Naruto, Temari, and Shikamaru were all on top of the house. As punishment for the incident, they all had to retile the roof.

"It's only alluding to the fact that a shadow is a perfect imitation of the original, much like what that jutsu does."

Naruto groaned, "I know Tem, but I was so close! I thought I had actually done an actual shadow jutsu! I still want to be the clan leader, dattebayo!"

"You know," Shikamaru finally spoke up, "This could actually turn out better for you."

"Huh?"

"That jutsu was made by the Nidaime, a person said to be a genius. If you were able to do it on your first try, that would make you some kind of Kage prodigy, don't ya think?"

Naruto paused. "You seriously think I could be Hokage?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "Today I saw my idiot otouto take out a chunnin with a B-rank jutsu. Anything's possible."

The rage on Naruto's face was largely ignored when Shikamaru turned to his troublesome sister.

"So where'd you learn to do wind jutsus? That's something only graduates are supposed to learn."

"When you two left, dad gave me some elemental paper to make me feel better about not being able to do those damn shadow moves. I change my mind about that, by the way, wind techniques are much easier."

The three then got silent as they finished patching the roof up. The setting sun erupted the sky in to shades of red and orange.

Temari spoke up. "You know, there'll be a time where things like sunsets will be the only joy in the sad and cruel world we live in."

Naruto understood more of that line than Shikamaru did.


	7. Chapter 7

**Believe it or not, I can be an incredibly shy person. Seriously, at times I can go straight down into pre timeskip Hinata, stuttering and all.**

 **Therefore, if you're going to ask a question as a guest, I'm not going to go out of my way and answer it in the next chapter. I will only respond by private messaging.**

 **Agent 1-N2-4N-14C out.**

* * *

"Wow, the Hokage… I really can't believe it, dattebayo!"

Wandering around the village was not something that Nara Naruto normally did. There would be two things occupying is time – gardening and pranking. Pranking was just a means to get attention and gardening was just a result of the gift of seeds Ino had given him on his 11th birthday. However, today there was one of the rare times Naruto wanted to be alone and it was the middle of winter, so nothing would grow in this temperature. No, today he would enjoy the silence of a stroll, especially when he had a lot of good stress to burn. Seriously, how many kids were told that they could be the Hokage?

Probably a lot of kids to be honest, but Naruto wanted some time to bask in his pride DAMN IT.

"Hokage! Just imagine what everyone will say, dattebayo! Everyone will stop glaring at me weirdly and they'll all respect me! I can't wait for-"

A faint sniffle broke Naruto's train of thought. It sounded like it came from the nearby playground.

Naruto went toward to investigate. "Hey, is anyone there?"

He heard a familiar eep.

"Hinata? Is that you?"

Slowly, the Hyuga heiress crawled out of that turtle structure you see in most Japanese playgrounds. (Seriously, what is that thing? You know, the thing in the middle of the playground with holes in it that children can crawl through to get inside. It's been in most manga I've read with a playground setting, and googling it doesn't help. Does anyone know what it's called?)

"Hey, Hinata," Naruto said with concern, sitting down next to her. "What are you doing there?"

"F-father yelled at me for being weak again…" Hinata hiccupped. "S-said I had so much wasted potential."

"What?! No you don't!" proclaimed Naruto. "How many times do I have to tell you? You have that freaky eye thing that helps you see things better, right? No way can anyone with that be weak, dattebayo!"

"But-but!" she stuttered. "Yesterday I had to sp-spare with my little sister, Ha-hanabi, and I couldn't do it! What could I d-do Naruto? She's only six…"

"Well that just means that you care for your sister! Family ties don't make you weak."

"But, Neji-neesan-"

"Hmph! You shouldn't pay attention to your pain-in-the-ass cousin, dattebayo!" Naruto retorted. He then put both his hand to the back of his head. "You know, me and Temari-neechan were both jealous of Shika's shadow abilities. I was really mad because it meant that I couldn't be the clan heir like you, but then tousan told me that I was special in my own way. He told me that I shouldn't pay attention to Shika's powers and focus on mine. Now check this out!" Naruto put both his middle and pointer fingers and formed a cross. "Kage Bushin no Jutsu!"

In a puff of smoke, the duo was surrounded by 50 shadow clones.

"A-amazing," Hinata staggered in awe.

"Now," grinned Naruto "If a dead last like me can make all these clones, then what does that mean for you, Hyuga Princess?"

"I-I'm not a princess anymore," Hinata responded sadly, "Hinabi's now going to be the clan head."

"Bah! Who needs them?" Hinata looked at Naruto in shock. "No, I don't mean your clan. I mean their approval,dattebayo! If you can't be something you want, be something better. Like how instead of the Nara head, I'm going to be Hokage!"

"Hokage!?" Hinata gasped.

"That's right!" Naruto grinned. "and if you want, we can be Hokage together!"

"N-naruto-kun, I-I think there can only be one Hokage…"

"Really?" Naruto frowned. "Then…"

Naruto stood up and smiled.

"I'll make you the next best thing – the Hokage's wife! That'll show your clan!"

Hinata was speechless.

"N-n-na-na-"

She then collapsed in an instant, her face blushing like a mature rose.

* * *

"Baka, how could you just say that out loud?!"

Shouting echoed through Hinata's mind as she woke up.

"C'mon, what did I do wrong, Tem?"

Hinata's peeked her eyes open to find herself in the Nara compound.

"Don't you know that a woman's heart is fragile? How DARE you mess with her feelings!"

She recognized that voice as Temari-san's. Obviously, it seemed she was more than pissed.

"All I said is that she should become the Hokage's wife!"

"After you said that YOU would become Hokage! THINK Naruto, THINK!"

Silence followed after that.

"I don't follow."

A loud thud could be heard throughout the house. Hinata could only guess that it was the sound of Temari falling face first on to the floor.

"BAKA, BAKA, BAKA! If you're going to be the Hokage and she's going to be the Hokage's wife, that would make her YOUR WIFE!"

Three long seconds passed. Hinata could almost sense the realization dawning upon the yelled upon Naruto.

"Yeah, I know."

Or maybe not.

Hinata decided it was about time to leave before she fainted again. Blushing madly once more, Hinata pushed up the sheets and got up, careful not to make a sound. She tiptoed through the hallway and downstairs to the living room, where Naruto and Temari were.

She hid behind a corner to eavesdrop, curious yet bewildered on where the conversation was going.

"What do you mean you know?!"

"Not so loud. Not so loud," Naruto whispered, "You'll wake her up."

"Naruto," Temari said in a lower tone, "Do you mean to play with this girl's feelings?"

"No! It's just…" Naruto hesitated and then spoke up. "She looks lonely."

"LONELY?! You're gonna marry out of pity?!"

"Tem, don't hit me; listen to me, dattebayo! When I saw her out in the cold, she had a look in her eye. I… I recognized that look, because it was the same look I had when I had to do the chores alone, when the villagers and older ninjas all mocked and hit me. She's hurting, Tem, and I wanna help her."

"So you're going to marry her just so she doesn't feel alone?" remarked another voice in the room. It seemed Shikamaru was also in the conversation.

"You know what, Shika? Do you know why I stopped feeling that way? It's because I have you, Tem, mom and dad all here to support me, to tell me that my dream of becoming the Hokage isn't some hopeless wish. Her family doesn't do that. Her father is unsupportive and gives her no love. If the only way for her to feel that love is for me to marry her, then I'll do it, dattebayo!"

"How do you know that marrying her is going to fix her problem? Does she even like you? Do you even like her?"

"I like her plenty, and I'm sure she does too!"

"Not like her as a friend, idiot. I mean like her as a woman."

A loud thwack was heard, followed by Shikamaru's groans.

"What I'm sure Shikamaru **means** to say is do you love her? Would you kiss her every day on the lips and tell her you love her?"

"Eww! No! Not that!"

"Then you can't marry her."

"Why not, dattebayo?!"

"You can't just have someone become your wife without kissing them! It's like a law or something!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"Liar!"

"Stupid!"

"Idiot!"

"Loser!"

"Both of you shut up!" Shikamaru's voice piped up. Silence came after that.

"Now if both of you are done screaming at each other, how about we do this. Naruto, you can't be Hinata's husband because there's no way she'd marry an idiot like you who runs his mouth over without knowing what he's talking about."

"How do you know that?"

"Why don't you go ask her yourself? She's right there."

"What? Hinata?"

The blue haired girl found herself facing Naruto face to face.

"Hey, Hinata?" said the boy in a stern voice. "Y-you like me right?"

"Ummm…" the girl twiddled her fingers together. Did she? He was nowhere near what she called "perfect boyfriend material", and she doubt that her father or anyone of the elders in her clan would approve of a relationship with a juvenile who managed to land himself constantly in the Hokage's tower for his shenanigans and tomfoolery.

Yet… And yet…

There was a light that Hinata saw that whenever the blond was near. Whenever he smiled at her, she felt a warmth inside her that made her feel happy. She could tell that he genuinely cared for her, and for him to put his marriage on the line for her (even if he did not understand the impact it had for the both of them) just for her to escape the turmoil of anguish that her own family gave her…

that was something only angels did.

How many times was he there beside her when all she needed was bullied at school? How many times did he give her his hand whenever she fell down?

Perhaps…

Perhaps she had already fallen for him.

"Hinata? Hinata? Hinata?!" Naruto repeated, snapping the Hyuga out of her trance. "You gonna answer me?"

"Oh course she's not," Shikamaru called out. "She obviously doesn't like you."

"Th-that's not it!" Hinata exclaimed, surprising the Nara siblings. "I-it's just that… talking about m-m-m-marriage is too s-soon, Naruto-kun."

"Aah. I see," Naruto said in a thoughtful tone. "Then how about a date, dattebayo?"

"A d-d-d-d-da-d-da-"

"C'mon, I found this really nice ramen parlor a couple blocks away!"

Naruto grabbed Hinata's hand and raced out the door, dragging the unfortunate, flushed bluenette with him.

Temari turned to Shikamaru "You're being unusual mean to our otouto."

"A good strategy in Shogi (or chess, I guess) is to manipulate your opponents moves until they're in a vulnerable position," Shkamaru responded. "I heard Hinata waking up upstairs, so all I had to do was push Naruto's buttons so he could say some snooty romance."

"So Hinata could fall in love with him? Poor girl."

"Give our little brother some credit; his heart is in the right place."

"I'm still worried he'll manipulate her…"

'Which is why you and me are going to Ichiraku Ramen to see if the date goes well."

"We are?!"

"Well, if you really think he'll do it perfectly on his first try-"

"Never mind, we're going."

Shikamaru nodded. "I thought you might say that."

* * *

 **Writing about an AU is harder than I thought.**

 **I mean, Naruto really isn't alone in this fic and therefor isn't practicing his clone jutsu in vain every day for a stalking Hinata to grow obsessed with, so I have to make some other reason why Hinata and Naruto come together. What ends up happening is that I completely ignore her stalking personality and put them boyfriend-girlfriend before they graduate the academy. WWHHHYYyyyyy?**

 **Anyway, I realized I probably should have added a lot more character development between the two in an arc like a birthday party or a playdate or something to ease in a more reasonable NaruHina confession, but I didn't.**

 **Oh, well.**

 **Anyway, where is the constructive criticism? C'mon, give me you're** **meanest insults** **advice on how I can make my writing better.**

 **Please?**


	8. Chapter 8

**You know, I've been snooping around this site's guidelines. Did you know it's apparently prohibited to write any form of erotica?**

 **I know for a fact that's not true. I've seen more than enough of my fair share of smut on this website. Would someone please explain to me what this is about? Is it just the norm to break this rule or something?**

* * *

 _I know I'm supposed to be the Nara heir, but this is ridiculous._

These were the words that passed through Shikamaru's head as he found himself engulfed in a dark dimension – a "shadow realm" one could say.

Shikamaru was quite frankly sick of being here. Every night it was the same dream: wander around this drab of a void and wait until someone awoke him from his slumber. He had had this nightly routine for the last couple of months, and as much as the Nara admitted that he appreciated the repetition of it all, he longed for a change in scenery. After all, if this was all that his mind could conjure up as he slept; he might as well give up sleeping altogether.

He prayed it wouldn't come to that.

Tonight it didn't seem that different – same pitch black domain, same noiseless conditions aside from his own footsteps.

Suddenly, a spotlight shined itself onto Shikamaru. Startled, he winced and jerked his arms to cover his eyes. That's when he noticed the sound of another set of feet.

Out of the darkness, a voice rang out.

"Why, hello there, darling."

Shikamaru opened his eyes and blinked.

"T-temari?"

Temari's voice sighed. "Little brother, you never seem to be able to call me neechan. Even Naruto calls me that from time to time."

"Forget it. I'll call you my older sister when you act like one." They had already had this conversation in the real world. Temari acted brash and violent as much as their hyperactive younger brother did, which was not exactly the mature personality Shikamaru envisioned an older sister would have. As a result, he opted out in calling her with correct family honorifics in favor of calling her by her name for all of his life.

The voice giggled. "Yes, well you know you're right."

"…what?"

"You're right about that," Temari repeated.

A bare leg suddenly entered Shikamaru's spotlight. He blushed and gulped as the leg touched the ground in a slow fashion.

"We aren't related at all."

Pain suddenly erupted onto Shikamaru's cheek as he found himself abruptly staring as a furious Temari.

"Oi! Lazy bones! Kaasan's been calling you for the last ten minutes! Hurry up! If I'm late for my squad's first meeting because of you I swear to Kami!"

Shikamaru could only stare at her as she huffed and ran downstairs. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply.

It didn't take a genius to realize that he almost had a wet dream about his sister.

Well, step-sister.

The little reveal that dream Temari had said about them being unrelated?

Well, duh. He wasn't an idiot.

* * *

"Please, please, pleeeeaaaase, Temari-neechan! Can't we go to your ninja meeting?"

Typical Naruto being typical Naruto. Ever since Shikamaru had mentioned his younger brother being a "Kage prodigy" the scoundrel had been more than eager to throw himself a couple years ahead of schedule.

Shikamaru had to admit it was pretty cute at first; young Naruto had started begging the Sandaime for missions which, of course, the Sandaime would refuse. That didn't stop Naruto from volunteering to assist other genin teams, who were more than happy to comply as D-ranks were not the most exciting things in the world. Naruto, being the child he was, did each task with enthusiasm, usually with the help of his kage bushins.

As adorable as it all was, the "eager maid" phase of Naruto eventually had to end. After three months of nonstop chores, he had grown bored of walking Izunuka dogs and picking up trash. At this point, he had decided to take matters into his own hands. "Troublesome" wasn't even the word Shikamaru would use to describe the scorn Naruto had received when he got caught trying to sneak out of the Nara Forest in an attempt to tag along a squad outside the village. It was the word, however, that he would use when he was put in charge of Naruto's surveillance. They were close, sure, but they weren't around each other 24/7. It was especially more troubling since whenever Naruto did a prank, Shikamaru also got blamed for it. Still, it was probably better than seeing his mother rage frantically for her youngest son, so he just put up with it.

Shikamaru stopped spacing out as the conversation continued between his siblings.

"For the last time, Naruto, no! Undergraduates have to stay in the academy while the big boys and girls go and work with their squad."

"But I'm better than the rest of my classmates-"

"When was the last time you got a score higher than a D on a written exam?"

"Er-"

"Exactly."

The Nara siblings had now reached the crossroad which separated the path between the training areas and the academy.

"Okay, now! Shoo! Go on!"

"But Temari-neechan!" Naruto responded as he grabbed his sister's leg. "Everything in that class is so boring! And there are always these annoying girls that scream whenever [that weird emo kid] comes into class. Please! You can't send me back there!"

"Naruto."

The blond looked up at his sister with puppy dog eyes.

"Every ninja makes there sacrifice for the village, right?"

Naruto nodded.

"Then this is yours!"

Temari then picked up Naruto and flung him off towards the academy with a blast of wind. Shikamaru could only watch as his younger brother screamed the whole way through.

She turned to him. "You gonna follow suit?"

"No, ma'am. I'd rather not have my spine dislocated."

"Good. I'll see you tonight, Shikamaru."

* * *

When Shikamaru got to the academy, he saw Naruto being pulled out of a bush by Choji and Kiba, of who they were close friends with due to their time slacking off.

"Oi, otouto, you okay?"

Naruto rubbed his head. "Kami damn it. Why does she have to be so brash?"

"So you got your ass kicked by your sister, huh?" Kiba said. "Man, get used to that. Hana throws me out of the house whenever I pissed her off."

"This is different!" Naruto spouted. "As her younger brother, I should be delegated to watch her genin test! I should be cheering her on as she takes down her sensei with her awesome wind attacks!"

"They don't allow kids in there for a reason," Choji said. "I hear that there are training areas where huge monstrous snakes sneak up behind you and eat you in one bite!" He shivered at the thought of it.

"Baah! You're just being a chicken as usual Choji!" Naruto replied. "Hey! Let's use my kage bushins to take our place in class again and sneak onto the training field."

"Oh, man! Let's!"

"I mean… I guess we can."

"Hold it."

All eyes turned to Shikamaru.

"This is entirely different from sneaking to a kunai practice gym. Don't you know that her Jonin sensei could easily sense our chakra if we were to ever get close to the training field?"

"Aah, c'mon, Shikamaru," Kiba piped up. "We're gonna be fine. All we have to do is be real sneaky!"

"None of us know how to mask-"

"I bet your just scared of Temari-neechan, Shika." Naruto frowned. "Fine, if you don't want to come, then don't."

"Naruto, wait," Shikamaru began. It would be more than troublesome if he was caught without Naruto. He had to find a way to keep him in the academy.

"Don't you remember what happened last time we ditched?"

Naruto tilted his head.

"Hinata got really sad because you weren't in class, remember?"

There that should do it. Naruto was always more lenient when it came to Hinata.

* * *

It was ten minutes later since that conversation. They were hiding behind a telephone pole as they waited for the next opportunity to sneak past. The only difference is that they were now a group of five.

In response to Shikamaru's argument regarding Hinata, Naruto had given the idea of bringing Hinata along. Hinata, much to Shikamaru's displeasure, agreed.

Kami, he regretted giving Naruto such a lenient girlfriend. It was almost disgusting watching Hinata fidget as Naruto held her hand.

Almost.

* * *

 **Let the weary rest it's legs upon the shoreline  
**

 **as the deadline that had passed**

 **sits as a reckage**

 **of the golden ship**

 **that failed.**

 **I am so tired.**

 **and addicted.**

 **to overwatch.**

 **I've fallen into a hellish landscape where no one will play a tank.**

 **Why must I play another game of Winston?**

 **I mean**

 **I don't mind**

 **But I'd like to play Tracer once in a while.**

 **No?**

 **Okay, that's fine.**

 **There's a special place in hell just for you.**


End file.
